Phil, The Chicken that Tried to Cross the Road

Part III: He's Back? I Thought He was Dead!

It was dark and Phil was scared out of his feathers. He was trapped in a small confined space and he didn't know where he was. He was screaming at the top of his lungs, yet no one could hear him. He tried moving his wings around, but he couldn't make anything - anything at all - move. He even tried making the traditional chicken sound, bock-bock, but nobody could hear that, either.

Suddenly, he heard a sound to break the seemingly unending silence. It was the sound of digging-digging of a grave. Phil now knew where he was. He was in a chicken-sized coffin! Phil gathered his strength and pushed as hard as he could on the lid of the coffin.

Finally, he was able to push open the lid. With a cry of "Thank Bob I'm Free!" he jumped out of the vastly under-sized coffin and scared the fur and feathers off all of the collected animals.

"Wha..." I thought you were dead, Phil! Are you a ghost?" said Tom, the disabled alien from upstate New Jersey.

"What are you talkin' about? asked Phil. "I was just sleeping!"

Then, Phil asked, "Now, I got a question. Did I make it across?" As Phil should have guessed, there was a big collective "NO!" from the congregated animals. This puzzled Phil because he knew he was on the opposite side of the road from where he had started. Phil decided to voice his thoughts. "If I didn't make it across, then how come I'm standing here right now?"

"He may be a daredevil, but he certainly isn't that bright. His head's like an egg, and the yolk is the size of his brain," muttered Phil, the other disabled alien from upstate New Jersey.

Tom said, "Dude. Phil, you were run over by that haunted "The End of Your Days" funeral car. We had to carry your pretty much lifeless body from there to here. I suggested asking that stupid funeral car to do it, but most of the others didn't think that would be right. Don't you remember anything?"

"All I remember is getting about half way across the road then falling asleep because I was tired," said Phil.

Then Phil was struck with an idea. He ran to where a podium for speaking was set up. He spoke into the microphone like he wanted the whole world to hear. "Attention barn animals and disabled aliens from New Jersey! There is something I would like to say! As you well know, I attempted and, I guess, failed at crossing the road. I have just decided that, in 48 hours, I will try to cross the road again. I will also take the time to thank the Great Bob for freeing me from that claustrophobic coffin! Thank You, my furry and feathered friends, for supporting me. Now, I've got to get ready."

Submitted by Dawson, 6-T