Mr. Baldy

Now, Mr. Baldy is my next-door neighbor. Oah, he's no ordinary neighbor, well, first of all, he's bald. Second of all, he's tall. Third of all, well, he's just plain weird. One Thanksgiving morning he walked over to my house & gave us a lama. Then he said "Happy Kawnza" in a different language. You know how everyone eats turkey on Thanksgiving? Well, he gave us a lama! He is crazy, I tell you!

Oah, and on Christmas he gave us a wal-mart bag with a price tag on it. See what I'm saying? Now it's Valentine's Day & who knows what he'll do.

Oah, my pickle! Guess what I just saw? Mr. Baldy is running around in an orange jumpsuit. I forgot that Mr. Baldy got in jail. He stole my neighbor's wrench! Now he's singing really horribly. He's saying, "I love beef jerky!" Shortly after he started singing, I called 911.

"Hello, 911, how may we help you?" the lady said.

"Ya, so my neighbor is supposed to be in jail but instead he's running around in his orange jumpsuit singing, "I love beef jerky."

"Okay, thanks. We'll send someone to come get him now."

"Yeah, you better come soon," I said.

Once the police got here they couldn't catch him, so he ended up getting tazzed.

4 YEARS LATER
My life is a bit calmer now that Mr. Baldy moved to California after he got out of jail. Unfortunately, my parents said that someone's moving in the house that Mr. Baldy lived in & apparently he'd just gotten out of an insane asylum.

SUBMITTED BY CLAIRE, 6-T